I was never like this when I got angry. All the heavy breathing, the agitated behaviour, it never was my usual response to anger. I don’t know what it is really, why this all happens. I feel weak when I’m angry, as if I don’t have the power to reach for what I want. My head begins to hurt, and my stomach becomes irritated. I’ve been through different phases of anger, ones in which I’d try to break anything I find in my way, and others in which I’d do things to harm myself. But what happens to me now, it’s different, it’s strange. I used to let my anger out towards people around me, but now I trap it all within me as if there’s nothing for me to do. All my insides begin to heat up, it’s kind of like in cartoons when the characters turn red and steam comes out of their ears, except in my case there’s no steam to visually see. I just feel it. It’s painful. But deep inside I know that there’s nothing for me to do but wait, wait until I’m calm again and able to think clearly, because the thoughts you get when you’re angry can never be trusted.
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